Sitting On The Corner of Nowhere Road...

...just between I wish I could and I don't know

Writer's Block: Above and beyond
water sunset flowers
What do you think happens after you die?

I believe in Reincarnation, whereby every soul eventually achieves perfection and enlightenment by returning here multiple times in different forms. When perfection is achieved souls pass on to some sort of state of permanent bliss.

I don't believe in the Christian version of hell. It just seems too much like a scary story made up to scare people into being good, and I believe a good person does what they know is right regardless of the consequences, or lack thereof. Therefore, someone who is only acting a certain way because they fear hell is not truly a good person at all. I also don't believe, as many Christian sects do, that one's soul deserves eternal happiness solely because you worship Jesus, and that all your sins can be forgiven by simply asking so you can go to heaven. I prefer the belief of reincarnation because everyone can reach eternal happiness, and it's not as simple as worshiping the "right" God or simply asking for forgiveness.

Anyway, if I'm totally wrong and Hell IS real, there's probably gonna be a few awesome people down there. There are many Christians who believe Mother Theresa and Gandhi ended up in hell, Mother Theresa being a Catholic and Gandhi being a Hindu. So, all in all, I wouldn't mind chilling with Gandhi and Mother Theresa for an eternity. :P

water sunset flowers
My New Year's this year was...ok. Definitely didn't beat last year, which was the best New Year's party ever. Dan brought his new love interest, Jesse, over to meet everyone. He reminded me strongly of Ducky Mike in appearance and demeanor, and as Ducky Mike ended up being BAD news, it gave me a bit of a squicky feeling. :-(

We did have fun playing Circle of Death, Apples to Apples, Settlers of Catan, and other fun games. It was generally just a more subdued party.

New Year's Day we all went to go see The Blind Side. I enjoyed more than I expected to, but I still would have rather seen Avatar or It's Complicated.

On the way to the movie, I was suddenly bombarded with unsolicited advice as to how I'm doing everything wrong in regards to earning my masters degree, which put me in a rather sullen mood. I don't care what anyone tells me, I'm not hurting for money, I'm not unable to pay rent or afford food, therefore working and taking less credits, and thus taking longer to earn the degree, would be stupid. I am surviving perfectly fine on my refund checks, and soon I will have access to $3-4k more in my Franklin Fund. I'm FINE. Everyone was just really annoying me with, I don't sit there and tell everyone not to work while in school because that's what I'm doing, so why do they have to tell me to do what they did/are doing? Grr! I'll have my degree in a little over a year and be able to find gainful employment, and I'm doing REALLY well, 3.8 GPA! Why does it seem that no matter what I do, it's wrong? Cause if I did work, and took longer to earn the degree, then people would be saying, "When are you gonna finish already?! What are you a professional student?!" Ugh. Leave me alone.

I also had to deal with people nosing in my relationship with Logan, which always makes me annoyed. My mom's best friend, Brenda was visiting. DISCLAIMER: I LOVE Brenda with all my heart! That being said, I wish she wouldn't butt in so much! Like when she found out Logan got me a crockpot and a video game for Christmas, she said to him, "only sparkly things from now on!" Um...since when does having a vagina automatically mean one desires jewelry??? EXPENSIVE JEWELRY IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY. There, I said it. That's how I truly feel. Stop telling my boyfriend to buy me things YOU want. RAWR! I like that Logan buys me things he KNOWS I NEED or WANT. That at least takes more effort and thought than "Oh, all girls like shiny things!" *buys random piece of jewelry* It shows me that he pays attention when I say and do things, and remembers! Considering my last boyfriend didn't think anything I said was worth listening to, this means the world to me! I'm really sick of people assuming they know what I like and what I want. Like this one time when someone asked me if I like it out in the country, and my mom answered "no" for me. EXCUSE ME, IS YOUR NAME EMILY?! NO! RAWR!

THEN, my parents invite MY friends over, and get annoyed when I either already have plans or just don't feel like socializing that night. It gets really annoying when I make plans with Carrie and then have to reschedule because Dan, Jason, and their parents are coming over for dinner - for the third damn time that week! Or when my parents have invited them over when I had just planned on having personal time to read, play WoW, go to the gym, watch some TV, whatever. If, at any point in time, I EVER express preference for a solitary activity over spending time with my parents or friends, then I'm this horrible, unfriendly, antisocial person! What is so wrong with wanting to be left the hell alone every so often?!

And my parents want me to live at home over the summer if all my courses are online. Financially, it may be the better option, but I really think it will hurt me academically. I would really need my parents to leave me alone and not nag me about everything I do, and I honestly don't think they're capable of that. At least this would be my LAST extended stretch of time at home, as I'll be certified to teach in PA and be job hunting out there. Maybe it's wrong to be complaining so much, it's not as if my home environment is awful, but it's kind of suffocating. I really like my relationship with my parents better when I'm far away, and only know what I tell them, that way I don't have to hear endless lectures, criticism, advice, etc, on every little thing I do or decision I make.

So...I have several goals right now, but I can't really call them New Year's resolutions as they'll take longer than a year to complete. As always, lose weight, keep good grades. Broader, long term goals: finish my masters degree, move out permanently (and hopefully officially move in with Logan in the process), find a teaching job start a PhD, and as long as we're still together get engaged to and eventually marry Logan. Yeah...those things should cover the next 5 or 6 years. I also want to travel. Kids? Not until I'm 30. Maybe 32. When all those other things are done or almost done. In the mean time, I'll get a dog or two.

Happy New Year.

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